Why They Might Be Good: Ha. Tee hee. Heh heh heh. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Ha.

Why They Might Suck: Oh, their going to suck all right, there’s no “might” about it, if only because their log-jammed backcourt—Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, Quentin Richardson, Steve Francis—shares a collective philosophy of “Shoot first, ask questions later … even if your shooting percentage is 21.8 percent.” On the plus side for Knicks fans, when Coach Isiah Thomas gets canned in February, they’ll suck a little bit less.

The Dude Other Than Marbury Who I Want on My Fantasy Team: Channing Frye. It’s a tough call between him and his fellow softie David Lee, but Frye weighs one more pound, so he gets the nod.

Bottom Line: Delusional Coach Thomas raves, “This is the finest collection of talent I’ve ever been associated with. I will be shocked—shocked—if [center] Eddy Curry isn’t an All-Star, and [forward] Renaldo Balkman doesn’t win Rookie of the Year. I love my guys.” If a talent scout with an eye like Isiah Thomas’s says he loves you, it’s time to start looking for a day gig.

heckler editorial staff