Why They Might Be Good: The Celts have five point guards with the talent to start – Delonte West, Sebastian Telfair, Tony Allen, and rookies Rajon Rondo and Allan Ray – and one would assume that at least two of them are bound contribute on a nightly basis.  Maybe.  Possibly.  Theoretically.  Plus at some point around January, Paul Pierce will go on a tear in which he scores 164 points in four consecutive games.

Why They Might Suck: Boston will be lucky to get eight combined PPG from centers Michael Olowokandi and Kendrick Perkins, and 6′ 10″ third-year forward Al Jefferson has demonstrated an uncanny ability to board like a man half his size.

The Dude Other Than Pierce Who I Want on My Fantasy Team: Wally Szczerbiak.  Despite the fact that he bears an uncanny resemblance to everybody’s favorite Scientologist Tom Cruise, Wally World is a deadly shooter, a stellar free throwist, and a heartthrob to hundreds of thousands of teenage girls.

Bottom Line: The Celtics have contracted a disease known as Too Many-itus.  They have too many point guards, too many teenagers, and too many bigs who play like smalls.  All of which add up to too many losses to even catch a whiff of the postseason.

heckler editorial staff