Under the cover of darkness, team personnel cloaked in black removed all teddy bears and other stuffed animals, as well as security blankets and pacifiers from the players’ hotel rooms and visitors’ clubhouse.
Longtime Cubs fan, Sean Cunningham, felt he had no choice but to call the police after Cubs mascot, Clark the Cub, showed up at his seven-year-old’s birthday party without wearing any pants.
Some off-the-field distractions have left fans of the team feeling a little bit frustrated and despondent. Thankfully, a new PR campaign generated by the Cubs brain trust has totally turned any negativity around and generated what many people are calling the happiest, most wonderful, feel-good success story in the history of social media.
Sources within the Bureau are confirming that a pantsless mystery figure approached the epicenter of the convention, The Furmuda Triangle, and after putting down his Chocolate Malt Cups and DVD copy of Rookie of the Year, set-off the stinkbomb. According to several reports, the devastation was simply UnFurgettable.
"On behalf of the Ricketts family and the entire Chicago Cubs franchise, we are embarrassed by this type of behavior," said Epstein. "Mr. Clark will no longer have access to Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, you guys get the idea. Additionally, we do not condone the phrase, 'makin' it rain.'"
Stiviano and Clark reportedly met at the Sheraton Chicago Hotel and Towers during Cubs Convention 2014. Stiviano didn’t plan on being on the hotel to meet the true love of her life. She actually was there just hoping to meet young up-and-coming Cubs player.