The Bay

“Ezie’s potential to be an even better player than Russell is unbelievable. The kid didn’t even know what a basketball was until he was 15 years old and now he is on the verge of stardom,” Jackson said of the Nigerian-born pivot man.

“Shaq was the face of the NBA for years. So why can’t he become the face of the Kings?” Stern said on NBA TV. “However, I will not allow him to rename the team. No way will they be called the Sacramento Shaq Daddies.”

“I can’t express how great it feels to throw my second career no-hitter," said Lincecum. "I’d especially like to thank the people that helped me along the way, namely my teammates, my coaches and the guys at 420 Farmacy in Boulder who scored me a nickel bag of Black Bart’s Acapulco Woodbine right after I had just run out of Mystic Mountain Schnozzberry Kush.”

"While the Dallas Cowboys and Oakland Raiders both have rabid fan bases and plenty of experience as franchises, the other bubble teams just look a bit more relevant heading into the season," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

With the team going through yet another dismal season, it’s harder than ever for fans to dig deep and do what they do best, which is dress up in crazy outfits and gang tackle innocent men and women foolish enough to wear the other team's colors, or yellow SECURITY jackets, to home games.

Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only eight career NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.

The San Francisco Giants wrapped up yet another World Series title Wednesday night but this one was especially meaningful as it's the first time the league's 10th-best team has won it all.