Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Campana Convention 2014 organized by disillusioned fans of former Cubs speedster

“Tony is the future of baseball,” said convention organizer Evan Berman. “Running, sprinting, sliding -- all the tools are there. Our convention will celebrate his ability to be super-focused at the expense of literally everything else.”

Mark Grace asks new cellmate where all the chicks are at

"Man, this place is kind of a sausage fest," said Grace, ever the ladies man. "Where are all the chicks at? Is there like a sports bar in here or something?"

Marian Hossa changes name to John Wayne

Taking a page from movie legend John Wayne -- who was born Marion Morrison -- Hawks winger Marian Hossa recently announced he is also changing his name to the more "badass" John Wayne.

Chicago Bears Bingo — Week 16, 2012 (Cardinals)

Play along as the Bears take on the Cards in what is sure to be called a "must-win game" a dozen times before the half.

With Brenly gone, Cubs to phase out bunting, fundamentals

“We tried doing things the ‘right way’ for a while when Bob was here,” said Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. “But that era is over, and it didn’t win us much. So we’re going back to the old school: booze, pills and spitballs.”

The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos, Part 2

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

Intensity of playoffs leads to Coach Q’s mustache spontaneously combusting

The pressure of the playoffs finally got to Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville as his infamous mustache spontaneously burst into flames during the first period of Monday's pivotal first-round playoff contest against the Coyotes. Coach Q calmly extinguished the blaze and continued coaching. In less than five minutes the mustache had fully regrown.