“Tony is the future of baseball,” said convention organizer Evan Berman. “Running, sprinting, sliding -- all the tools are there. Our convention will celebrate his ability to be super-focused at the expense of literally everything else.”
"Man, this place is kind of a sausage fest," said Grace, ever the ladies man. "Where are all the chicks at? Is there like a sports bar in here or something?"
“We tried doing things the ‘right way’ for a while when Bob was here,” said Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. “But that era is over, and it didn’t win us much. So we’re going back to the old school: booze, pills and spitballs.”
The Milwaukee Brewers issued a statement following their 8-1 NLDS Game 3 loss to Arizona that attributed the presence of Craig Counsell on the team's playoff roster to an unfortunate clerical error.
Mark Grace was sentenced to community service playing first base for the Cubs for the next 30 days, a Scottsdale, AZ judge ruled in connection with Grace’s DUI infraction over the Memorial Day weekend.
After trading for Roberto Alomar in 2003 and again in 2004, the White Sox are reverting to old, reliable means to improve their output at second base. Wednesday afternoon, the White Sox traded for Roberto Alomar on the same day the retired player was elected to baseball's Hall of Fame.