Thursday, December 8, 2022

Suns activate Cliff Paul

Reeling from the possible loss of PG Chris Paul to COVID-19 health and safety measures, the Phoenix Suns today activated Cliff Paul to take his place on the roster indefinitely.

Campana Convention 2014 organized by disillusioned fans of former Cubs speedster

“Tony is the future of baseball,” said convention organizer Evan Berman. “Running, sprinting, sliding -- all the tools are there. Our convention will celebrate his ability to be super-focused at the expense of literally everything else.”

With Brenly gone, Cubs to phase out bunting, fundamentals

“We tried doing things the ‘right way’ for a while when Bob was here,” said Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. “But that era is over, and it didn’t win us much. So we’re going back to the old school: booze, pills and spitballs.”