Marlins

After a home run off the bat of Justin Ruggiano flew halfway into the second deck, Florida resident Andy Kelley reached most of the length of two full seats to intercept the ball as it bounced by, but fell asleep in the middle of the effort.

Aside from a few local personal appearances and sports commentary gigs on national television, Guillen has done little to occupy his time. He told a local radio station that his days are spent mostly watching television. ”I love the Maury Povich Show. I can spend hours trying to figure out who’s the father.”

Not exactly what Abner Doubleday had in mind when he invented baseball, the Miami Marlins plan to use sex dolls disguised as fans in the stands when baseball resumes.