Not exactly what Abner Doubleday had in mind when he invented baseball, the Miami Marlins plan to use sex dolls disguised as fans in the stands when baseball resumes.
Assuming games will be played without people in attendance, the ball club said it will employ the same tactic that South Korean soccer club, FC Seoul, used to fill empty stands, which proved a huge success.
“By using sex dolls, and pumping in the sound of a cheering crowd, we think we’ll be able to give our fans watching at home the experience of being at the ball park,” Derek Jeter, the team’s CEO, told the Miami Herald.
In 2019, Marlins attendance was slightly more than 800,000 fans, after season tickets were included in the count. Last in the major leagues in tickets sold, it is estimated that fewer than 500,000 actually showed up at the ball park despite having the most modern stadium in baseball.
“MLB says we can keep the dolls in the stands after fans return, then count them toward season attendance,” Jeter said.
“There’s something in it for the players, too. After each game, they can take home the ones they find most attractive.”
