Friday, January 27, 2023

Goodell demotes Jags to UFL after blowout by Jets

After the Jets' drubbed Jacksonville 32-3 at MetLife Stadium Sunday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced the Jaguars would be demoted to the United Football League due to their horrendous play and terrible uniforms.

Maurice Jones-Drew holds out from mowing lawn until wife makes queso for fantasy draft

“I work hard on this lawn,” Jones said. “Last year, I won the neighborhood’s green thumb award. I mow the lawn on average 3.4 times per week. That’s leading the neighborhood in grass clippings per half acre!”

Chicago Bears Bingo — Week 5 (Jacksonville Jaguars)

Play along as the Bears take on the Jaguars in a city that probably can't support a D-II college team.

Jaguars optimistic they can remain on pace for 32 points this season

"Sure, 32 points is a lot for us," said Bradley. "But we looked really good on that blocked-punt safety yesterday. Maybe we can squeak out a few more of those. A couple field goals and an MJD TD here or there and we've got a great chance at 32 points this season."

CBS affiliates dumping Jaguars-Broncos game for something actually watchable

No way am I putting this carload of crapola on my air,” station manager Delmore “Bo” DuBose of Dothan, Alabama’s WTVY-TV 4 said. “I’ll put on a replay of the 1974 Auburn-Alabama game."

NFL owners vote to stop funding Jaguars, forcing team shutdown

As a result, all of the Jaguars remaining games have been canceled and their opponents granted a win in the standings (since they would have won anyway).

Jaguars getting +131.5 in line versus Broncos on Sunday

The Denver Broncos come into Sunday's contest versus the Jaguars having scored 362 points in five games this season, led by Peyton Manning, who is averaging 13 TD's a game during that span.