After the Jets’ drubbed Jacksonville 32-3 at MetLife Stadium Sunday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced the Jaguars would be demoted to the United Football League due to their horrendous play and terrible uniforms. This is coming on the heels of multiple reports of fans at Sunday’s game becoming violently ill after watching in Jags QB Luke McCown throw four interceptions while wearing the team’s trademark hideous jersey.
This demotion is the first one of its kind to ever happen in the NFL because it was included in the recently signed CBA. Rule 32.03, Bylaw 320.9 states, “Any pathetic, horrible NFL team that has awful jerseys and a quarterback who throws four or more interceptions in a game is subject to demotion to either the UFL or the Sun-Belt Conference. The choice is up to the team’s head coach.” The ruling was made after the third quarter of Sunday’s game.
Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio took the news in stride, and elected to move his team to the semi-professional UFL.
“Sure I was surprised about the demotion but no, I don’t really care,” said Del Rio after learning of the commissioner’s ruling. I did see the rule regarding our situation recently and I thought it was pretty funny. Our jerseys are terrible and our quarterback and team in general sucks so we fit the rules to a tee. Oh, and I chose the UFL over the Sun-Belt Conference because I thought it would be cool if we were able to play against former college stars like Eric Crouch, Maurice Clarett and Troy Smith.”
Goodell explained his ruling Sunday evening.
“The Jaguars’ unis are an eyesore and I want to vomit whenever I see them,” said Goodell. “Now, the fans of the UFL are going to have to deal with them. Also, the team stinks and I could play better than Luke McCown.”
To replace the Jaguars in the AFC South division, the Alabama Crimson Tide were called up from the SEC and are already expected to contend for the division title, as their payroll is only a few million less than the NFL average.