Thursday, August 18, 2022

Metrodome receives ‘major upgrade’ from large amount of dynamite

The former home of the Vikings received a much needed enhancement Sunday when parts of it were blown up to start its demolition, which will be completed later this year.

Monday Night Football cancelled after Vikings-Giants game

"Popularity in the program has been declining for years, but not being able to flex out of an abysmal matchup of the two worst football teams outside Florida is a franchise-killer," said TV industry analyst Bob Holloway.

Ndamukong Suh denies playing dirty while holding Christian Ponder in a vicious headlock

"I'm not here to talk about Christian Ponder, or my habit of putting the opposing quarterback into a headlock until they say 'uncle' every time I beat them in a regular season game," said Suh.

Adrian Peterson adds Vikings, taxes to list of things he doesn’t believe in

“Vikings? Really? I mean, you ever seen a guy with horns on his head?” said Peterson. “Seems crazy to me. Don’t believe in it. And taxes. Taxes, too. But that’s because it’s against my religious beliefs, or something.”

No deal: Urlacher only leaning toward Minnesota because knees won’t bend any other way

"I tried leaning south, but I've completely lost the range of motion," Urlacher lamented, referring to his balky knees. "If someone could just pick me up and spin me, I'd be able to lean toward Denver or maybe even a team on the East Coast."

Vikings legend Joe Kapp signs with Golden Boy Promotions

"Get ready, boxing world. Injun Joe is coming your way," said Oscar De La Hoya, CEO of Golden Boy Promotions. "As soon as I saw him throw that right cross in the video, I had to sign him!"

Bears honored to be playing in McNabb’s final game

“It should be amazing,” said linebacker Lance Briggs. “You grow up dreaming about putting a career-ending hit on a great quarterback, but you never really think it will happen, you know?”