Illinois

Following the Blackhawks' Stanley Cup championship win Wednesday night, the Cubs have asked the Hawks if they can borrow the Stanley Cup for use in lieu of the maligned and pointless BP Crosstown Cup when they battle the White Sox at Wrigley this weekend.

The predetermined season outcomes of the next 90 years of pro baseball were made public after a custodian found notes from an Ancient Society of the Stonemasons meeting in the basement of Goldman Sachs’ corporate headquarters.

Earlier this week, Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger made headlines by stealing the game puck after Blackhawks wins in games one and two of the Stanley Cup Finals. Hawks fans, players and hockey insiders were angered by the move, which Pronger has used to deflect attention from his team's early struggles in the championship round.

After honing his acting chops in several local commercials with teammate Patrick Kane, Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews has landed a role in a Civil War film, largely thanks to his mutton chops playoff beard.

Blackhawks fans were dejected as the puck dribbled through Antti Niemi's legs in overtime Wednesday night, giving the Philadelphia Flyers their first win of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Chicago coach Joel Quenneville and his team were secretly elated.

Blown call was 'tragedy the likes of which our city had only seen several hundred times Wednesday' Fans from across the country are calling for umpire Jim Joyce to be fired after his blown call ruined Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga's perfect game with two outs in the ninth Wednesday night, marking the worst thing to happen to Detroit in minutes.

After a slew of failed BP attempts to stem the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the flow was finally cut off when President Obama called in Blackhawks star goalie Antti Niemi for the government-led "Blocker Save" measure on the team's day off from the Stanley Cup Finals.