Following the Blackhawks’ Stanley Cup championship win Wednesday night, the Cubs have asked the Hawks if they can borrow the Stanley Cup for use in lieu of the maligned and pointless BP Crosstown Cup when they battle the White Sox at Wrigley this weekend.

“It would be nice to win the Stanley Cup,” Cubs Director of Operations Crane Kenney said. “No baseball team has done that before.”

Cubs owner Tom Ricketts, a baseball purist and a lifelong Cubs fan, doesn’t feel the same way as Kenney or other front office personnel but like most of the team’s maneuvers, he has little influence in this matter.

“I didn’t want Howry back,” Ricketts said. “I wanted Colvin in the starting lineup every day since April. I’ll just continue to take out my frustration on the rooftop owners as I’ve been doing. Maybe I can tell Fontenot to shave his sideburns or Soriano to wear his uniform pants like everyone else.”

By Rob C. Christiansen