Illinois

Almost 30 years since Philadelphia foolishly dealt Ryne Sandberg to the Cubs for Ivan De Jesus, the Phillies reacquired the Hall of Famer to manage their Triple-A affiliate Lehigh Valley IronPigs, completing the franchise's evil plot to steal back a player who's become the face of the Cubs.

The Clippers, off to an abysmal 1-10 start this season, have signed first-year coach Vinny Del Negro to an eight-year contract extension, the team revealed Monday.

The NBA has become so overrun by tattoos that at least one player's child was recently born with a sleeve on its right arm.

Sammy Sosa experimented with the white person look two years ago, but his transformation is complete just in time for his 42nd birthday today.

Only nine weeks into the 2010 season Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz has given up on his budding bromance with quarterback Jay Cutler.

Die-hard readers of The Heckler might have noticed it's been about eight weeks since we published our last issue. The Heckler's supposed to be monthly and eight weeks sure ain't monthly. So, yeah, we're a little off, but there's a reason: Our new web site. We totally relaunched theheckler.com and you should check it out if you haven't already.

The Cubs third baseman chooses not to opt-out of his contract due to his deflated market value.