Only nine weeks into the 2010 season Bears offensive coordinator Mike Martz has given up on his budding bromance with quarterback Jay Cutler.
“I give and give and give,” says Martz, “but I just don’t see the love returned.”
Martz claims to have done everything in his power to make Jay happy, from calling nothing but pass plays to ignoring his horrible interceptions. He even phased out talented running back Chester Taylor in hopes that Cutler could garner more of the spotlight.
According to Martz, the last straw occurred against the Bills last week when he tried to get Cutler’s attention by calling almost the same amount of run plays as he did passes.
“If Jay cared he would have said something,” said Martz. “He obviously isn’t paying attention to me because that would have never happened otherwise. I guess all he wants to do is hang out with Greg Olsen. We’ll see if he gets any playing time soon.”
So now Martz is looking to the dating site Match.com to find a new bromance. He says he is looking for a football player, hopefully a quarterback, to go out to dinner, watch movies and trade praise with through the media.
“Talent doesn’t really matter to me,” Martz said. “I mean look at John Kitna, he’s terrible and we got along great. I just want to meet somebody before the holidays so I don’t have to go to family gatherings alone.”
When asked for comment Culter just shrugged his shoulders and replied, “meh.”