Illinois

“I love the play-by-play function," said fan Ashleigh Loren. "I know exactly where the ball is on the field without having to glance up from updating my Facebook status announcing to my friends that I am totally at Wrigley watching the game.”

After losing their first two playoff games to the hard-hitting Canucks, the Blackhawks have gone to the well and activated unknown prospect Bustin Dyfuglien.

Thousands of young single men gathered at McCormick Place this weekend to express their outrage at Blackhawks forwards Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane for seducing a majority of the city's eligible females.

Next month The Heckler will be hosting huge group outings at Wrigley for Cubs-Cards on Wednesday, May 11. Now is your chance to get on board at the discounted price of just $45. Just visit http://hecklercubs.eventbrite.com/ to make your purchase.

The NRC took a huge blow this week as ESPN made the shocking announcement the NHL had officially passed rhino chasing to become the 143rd most popular sport in the nation. Speculation fueled the NRC rumor for months when one of the veteran rhinos from Team Boston took a hard fall against Team Los Angeles during an intense and grueling match in February.

When the Cubs reacquired Reed Johnson this off-season, they hoped the outfielder would infuse some scrappiness into an otherwise comatose clubhouse. Instead, the team has found that Johnson has morphed into all-sock and no scrap.

“Looking back on it, we see now how a coin flip wouldn’t be fair to either team," said Stern. "After debating a wide range of solutions, the league has decided that, in the event of the Bulls and Spurs sharing the same regular season record, home court advantage throughout this year’s playoffs will be determined by the winner of a muay thai cage match between Brian Scalabrine and Matt Bonner."