The NRC took a huge blow this week as ESPN made the shocking announcement the NHL had officially passed rhino chasing to become the 143rd most popular sport in the nation. Speculation fueled the NRC rumor for months when one of the veteran rhinos from Team Boston took a hard fall against Team Los Angeles during an intense and grueling match in February.
“We knew in our hearts when Stubby fell in February our season was over,” said team tracker Brock Smitty. “He was holding his own in turn three and that jerk tracker from L.A. side-swiped him with that new rookie hunter rhino they call Shotgun Ernie. The heart of NRC nation is hurting right now, but Stubby will carry us back and the NRC will overcome tough times just like any sport.”
NRC president Terry Busman encouraged fans to support their teams in light of the disappointing ESPN announcement.
“Just because ESPN says so isn’t acceptable,” said Busman. “The NHL has nothing on us. They have goalies with sticks. We have rhinos with horns and two more legs. It’s just a matter of time before we knock them down another peg or two.”
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman was thrilled with ESPN’s revelation and offered new, exciting ideas to keep hockey in the top 145 sports in the nation that would be announced for the 2012 season. “We’re taking it year by year and making small steps towards the top of the list. Last year we overtook ant hill burning at 144 and this year we surpassed the rhinos. We’re on our way to the top.”
Written by Morgann Spicer. Photoshop by Jeff Fingerman