Chicago

Of note was the regional controversy that followed approval of the landmark Cutler legislation. Whereas politicians in Minnesota, Michigan and most notably Wisconsin unanimously voted in favor of honoring Jay Cutler’s profligate contract extension, not every elected official in the great state of Illinois was as supportive.

Less than a day after Bears offensive coordinator Aaron Kromer apologized to his team for public comments he made that were critical of Jay Cutler emails were leaked from players, coaches, front office staff and ownership. They reveal the shocking current level of dysfunctional at Halas Hall these days.

Standing behind a large "Mission Accomplished" banner, Rauner outlined how the new "Lester Clause" he plans to add to the state's tax code will shore up the multibillion dollar budget shortfall by 2020.

After an initial announcement stating that they had signed the team's newest ace starting pitcher, the Cubs sheepishly announced that the team has not in fact sign Jon Lester, but instead signed a six-year,...

"Those are just the baseline expectations," said Cubs President Theo Epstein. "He could do much, much better than that. We'll just have to wait and see."

Sources within the Bureau are confirming that a pantsless mystery figure approached the epicenter of the convention, The Furmuda Triangle, and after putting down his Chocolate Malt Cups and DVD copy of Rookie of the Year, set-off the stinkbomb. According to several reports, the devastation was simply UnFurgettable.

"You know, all we need is the 49ers, Seahawks, and Lions to lose every game while the Bears finish the season undefeated," said Richardson. "And hoping that Minnesota, New Orleans, and St. Louis all lose more than one game as well, and we're talking six seed here. I don't know, I think our boys have got it in them!"