Governor-elect Bruce Rauner held a joyous press conference Wednesday morning celebrating an end to Illinois’ budget woes, thanks to new revenue that will be brought about by the income taxes collected from the $155 million contract Jon Lester is signing with the Cubs.

Standing behind a large “Mission Accomplished” banner, Rauner outlined how the new “Lester Clause” he plans to add to the state’s tax code will shore up the multibillion dollar budget shortfall by 2020.

“As I said last week, the state’s budget mess is even worse than I thought, but now that we’ll be bringing in 95 percent of Mr. Lester’s contract, we’re righting the ship and getting Illinois back to work,” said Rauner. “As much as it pains me to raise taxes on a millionaire, it sure beats raising taxes on all millionaires.”

hecklerstaff