‘Cigar Guy’ emerges as top candidate to replace Brenly
The infamous "Tiger Woods Cigar Guy" is reportedly the top candidate to replace Cubs TV color man Bob Brenly, who is rumored to be leaving to manage the Brewers. The news comes as a shock to most, considering Cigar Guy's level of baseball knowledge -- or his actual name -- is completely unknown.
‘Crazy’ Joe Maddon still running around clubhouse in jockstrap Friday morning
His Cubs may have been eliminated from the postseason Thursday night, but manager Joe Maddon is reportedly still running around the team's clubhouse in his jockstrap, in what insiders call a "crazy" outburst from the recently unhinged skipper.
‘Depressed’ Kane only to take home 3 or 4 girls from the bar tonight
Saddened by his team's flat performance in Saturday's 4-1 playoff loss to the Red Wings, Patrick Kane claimed to be "super depressed" and predicted he'd probably only take home three or four girls from the bar later this evening.
‘Ending the lockout’ doesn’t make Gary Bettman’s list of New Year’s resolutions
"Oh, I plan to be a lot more diligent with the Rogaine," said Bettman, who suffers from male pattern baldness. "I also want to spend more time watching basketball, hope to lose 10 pounds and no matter what happens -- I will nap at least five hours a day in 2013."
‘Family friendly’ Cubs back out of Budweiser deal in favor of Welch’s Grape Juice
“We realize that we had agreed to replace Old Style with Bud, but at the same time we’re actively trying to make the game day experience much more fun for families,” said Cubs Business President Crane Kenney.
‘Fire Quenneville’ website created after Hawks loss
Stan "Stosh" Kovaleski of northwest suburban Bensenville has started a "Qancel Qoach Q" website after the Blackhawks 6-2 loss to Colorado Saturday night.
‘Friends of Kevin Gregg’ holding fund-raiser for pitcher’s travel expenses to Chicago
Cubs’ closer-in-waiting Kevin Gregg needs your help, so the organization, “Friends of Kevin Gregg,” which will hold a fund-raiser to offset travel costs for the pitcher’s Greyhound bus trip from Des Moines after he was recently called up from Triple-A Iowa.
