Saddened by his team’s flat performance in Saturday’s 4-1 playoff loss to the Red Wings, Patrick Kane claimed to be “super depressed” and predicted he’d probably only take home three or four girls from the bar later this evening.

“That was such a tough loss,” said Kane in post-game interview. “But you know, I did score our only goal, so I feel like I should be rewarded for that.”

Kane said he’d probably make the rounds in River North, or maybe head up to Wrigleyville, hoping to score a few drunk female Mets fans.

“There’s something about New York girls that really gets to me,” said Kane. “Plus, they probably don’t care about how bad we stunk up the joint against Detroit this afternoon, so they might be even easier than Chicago girls today.”

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