Chicago

An 83-67 loss to the Timberwolves proved to be all the Bulls beat writers' union could take, effectively walking off the job Wednesday night in Minnesota after months of threats due to the team's miserable play.

With the 72nd consecutive sold-out crowd reaching a fever pitch, the Bulls stood just four points and two minutes away from hitting the 100-point mark, thereby giving all fans in attendance a free Big Mac.

With the Bears' defense finishing the season ranked near the bottom of the NFL, head coach Lovie Smith has decided Brian Urlacher and company need a little inspiration next season. So the Chicago coach has hired Chuck Norris, the martial arts master and star of the movie Sidekicks, be the team's next defensive coordinator.

News flash: the Bulls suck.

The deal to bring Orioles All-Star second baseman Brian Roberts to the Cubs that appeared to be imminent just a few weeks ago has come to a complete standstill in recent days. However, GM Jim Hendry still has high hopes that Roberts, and perhaps lefty Erik Bedard, will become Cubs sometime in relatively near future.

An overdressed White Sox fan was kicked out of this weekend's 2008 SoxFest for wearing sleeves, a major faux pas in Sox Nation. Joe Malonecki refused to honor the event's dress code and insisted on wearing a shirt with sleeves, rather than the preferred wife beater-style. Malonecki blamed a simple misinterpretation for the mistake.

After failing to land a player bigger than Nick Swisher or Octavio Dotel so far this offseason, Sox general manager Kenny Williams was expecting to receive his share of criticism, complaints, and pent-up aggression from South Side fans at this year's SoxFest at the Palmer House Hilton. Fortunately for all involved, Pale Hose fans have mellowed out since winning the World Series in '05, and no injuries were reported from the convention.