After failing to land a player bigger than Nick Swisher or Octavio Dotel so far this offseason, Sox general manager Kenny Williams was expecting to receive his share of criticism, complaints, and pent-up aggression from South Side fans at this year’s SoxFest at the Palmer House Hilton. Fortunately for all involved, Pale Hose fans have mellowed out since winning the World Series in ’05, and no injuries were reported from the convention.

“I had a bullet proof vest at the Town Hall Meeting on Friday, just to be safe,” said Williams. “By Saturday I was down to wearing only brass knuckles, and I felt so comfortable on Sunday afternoon I only carried pepper spray.”

The closest case of assault the entire weekend came when Williams himself got into a heated exchange with manager Ozzie Guillen over who was the better center fielder–Torii Hunter or Aaron Rowand, neither of whom will be in a Sox uniform in 2008. The debate started in front of the microphones in a Palmer House ballroom and continued in a room upstairs.

“Ozzie threatened to kill me and my entire family if I didn’t agree with him,” Williams said with an awkward chuckle. “Of course, he makes those threats at least once a week and so he hasn’t killed anyone.”