Hawks fan reconsiders playoff beard after season turns hair white
“My head was what you might call ‘salt and pepper’ back in October. But first there was that Colorado game, then all the injuries and those refs in Montreal! Ugh!” declared Hawks fan Donald Schwartz. “The last few strands went white during the Minnesota game. I don’t wanna look like Santa come June.”
Marmol has no idea where next pitch will wind up
"Carlos Marmol's lack of any preconceived notion whatsoever of where his next pitch will wind up is definitely keeping him up here since no one can read him in advance," said Cubs batting instructor Rudy Jaramillo.
Lastings Milledge fails to live up to first name again, leaves fourth team in...
The White Sox haven't had a player with a more contradictory name since all-hit, no-glove third baseman Josh Fields was on the roster.
Sox announce BYOB initiative to improve fan experience at The Cell
"Even after the World Series in 2005, attendance was lower than what we anticipated and people grumbled about beer prices," said owner Jerry Reinsdorf. "So now, not only can fans enjoy a family-friendly atmosphere, but they can party their asses off at the same time. It’s a win-win for everybody.”
Fukudome drills himself into ground with wild helicopter swing
It's become a sight all too familiar with Cubs fans: Kosuke Fukudome flailing helplessly at a slider low and inside as he helicopters himself around in a circle while missing the ball entirely.
Red Sox on pace to out-suck Cubs for first time since 1945
“We don’t care if the fans are behind us or not,” said DH David Ortiz. “If we suck that bad, we won’t even need Boston fans following because all the Yankee fans will start pulling for us to lose. So it’s a win-win situation no matter how bad it gets.”
Hendry purchases pitching machine to fill out rotation
With the loss of Randy Wells and Andrew Cashner, the Cubs were sent scrambling looking for rotation replacements. General Manager Jim Hendry ultimately decided on purchasing a BATA-2 pitching machine off Amazon rather than risk another minor league arms.
