A frustrating season of hockey ended in last-second jubilation on Sunday for Blackhawks fans, who had to count on the Minnesota Wild to nudge them into the last playoff slot. For one fan, however, enough was enough. Donald Schwartz has publicly declared he will no longer begin his traditional playoff beard after his hair went white during this past season.
“My head was what you might call ‘salt and pepper’ back in October. But first there was that Colorado game, then all the injuries and those refs in Montreal! Ugh!” declared a visibly shaken Schwartz. “The last few strands went white during that Minnesota game. And I don’t wanna look like Santa come June.”
An all-around Chicago sports fan – and victim of high blood pressure – doctors had already advised Schwartz to take a break from getting so highly involved in sporting events in 1984, 1991, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2008 and after every MLB All-Star game.
Schwartz’s experience is not entirely abnormal. Chicago fans have not experienced this much tumult during a highly-anticipated season since Cubs fans were treated to the post-2008 Milton Bradley experience.
“I’m starting to see the bright side. Maybe if I pass on the playoff beard, my wife won’t do that playoff not-shaving-her-legs thing,” concluded Schwartz.
By Dan Bradley