Sammy Sosa’s 41 Hall of Fame votes disqualified when cork discovered in ballots
"We were also disappointed to hear that all of Mr. Sosa's well-deserved ballots were discarded simply because of this one single ballot. Mr. Sosa did not intend for this ballot to be released, as it was a ballot that he primarily uses for practice."
North Korea to execute Rodman
According to sources, Kim told his staff to execute Rodman, known as “The Worm,” because he has concluded the NBA star is “too weird, even by our standards. The guy is seriously messed up.”
Bulls continue fire sale with Marquis Teague for ham sandwich trade
"The deal almost hit a snag this afternoon when it was reported that they were going to add plain yellow mustard," said Bulls GM Gar Forman. "I wouldn't accept anything less than stone ground or dijon."
Bulls fan learns season is still going on after hearing of Deng trade
"I didn't know the Bulls kept playing after they lost Rose for the year," said Michael Denberski of Oak Park. "I just assumed they packed it up back then."
Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan among those unable to make sense of Deng trade details
"In my time as chairman of the Federal Reserve, I oversaw quantitative easing and many other extremely complex international economic policies and practices," said Bernanke. "The NBA's collective bargaining agreement makes smoke come out of my ears."
NFL uses Watson computer to tally yards allowed by Bears defense in 2013
When Watson attempted to determine the rushing totals, the computer shorted out, then exploded. Its final report stated 01110000|01110010|01100001|01111001. Translated: pray.
Lambeau Field gets dome so fans can keep their food warm during playoffs
We have heard your concerns in between bites," said Thompson. "And now with the new dome that will go over Lambeau, you can be sure that from here and forever more, your nachos, fried beer nuggets, and Bratwurst Bacon Cheesehead Buffalo Patties will stay warm no matter how cold it gets outside.”
