North Korea has announced plans to execute former NBA star Dennis Rodman at dawn tomorrow.
Rodman has been in North Korea to celebrate the birthday of the country’s leader, Kim Jong-un, with an exhibition basketball game featuring other former NBA players. Before the game, Rodman sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Kim and called him his “best friend.”
According to sources, Kim told his staff to execute Rodman, known as “The Worm,” because he has concluded the NBA star is “too weird, even by our standards. The guy is seriously messed up.”
North Korea’s official media then issued a statement that the “Supreme Leader was initially amused by Mr. Rodman during his prior visits to our country, but now finds Rodman to be ‘boring and stale.’” In North Korea, boring the country’s leader is a capital crime punishable by death. The statement concluded by adding “as imperialist Americans might say, the worm has turned on The Worm.”
There were unconfirmed reports that the relationship between Kim and Rodman soured after Kim beat Rodman 118-2 in a one-on-one basketball game. Kim was angered when Rodman insisted on scoring one basket to avoid being shut out.
Asked about Rodman’s execution, White House spokesman Jay Carney said to reporters, “Fine by us. Here, finally, we see common ground with North Korea. So maybe his visit will do something for world peace.”
Rodman will be executed by firing squad due to Kim’s status as Rodman’s best friend. He thus avoids the fate of Kim’s uncle, Jang Song-Thaek, who was executed in December, reportedly by being fed to a pack of hungry dogs.