Soriano stunned to learn there are two years remaining on his contract
"With free agency starting, I called my agent to see how the market for me was shaping up," a shocked Soriano told reporters. "I couldn't believe it when he told me I still had two years left. I mean, are you kidding me? Why in the world would they have given me an eight year contract?"
In wake of Barney’s Gold Glove, Castro receives Platinum Blindfold
"I really thought [Alfonso] Soriano was going to get the award this year," said panelist and Old Style consumer, Barry Schmicklen. "But he sure caught us off guard. When Sori started giving a crap, we had to look to a younger generation to continue the tradition."
Cubs move Starlin Castro to TV booth in hopes he’ll pay more attention as...
"For one thing, he'll be able to see more of the field, assuming he doesn't spend the entire broadcast napping or sucking down Old Styles," said Cubs president Theo Epstein. "The franchise already had one Joe Carter."
Cubs lack untalented but extremely popular player fans insist is better than starter
Recalling such names as Augie Ojeda, Bobby Hill and Steve Dillard, Epstein said he hoped to fill a position before the start of spring training.
Theo Epstein dangerously close to thinking Cubs can contend in 2013
"Then we have Samardzija and Wood in the rotation … DeJesus and Sori in the outfield. They had solid years," he said, his eyes brightening with hopelessly misplaced optimism. "Castillo behind the plate. Oh, wow, I haven’t even mentioned the killer V’s: Vitters, Valbuena, Volstad.”
With Brenly gone, Cubs to phase out bunting, fundamentals
“We tried doing things the ‘right way’ for a while when Bob was here,” said Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. “But that era is over, and it didn’t win us much. So we’re going back to the old school: booze, pills and spitballs.”
Kasper in critical condition after learning Brenly won’t return to Cubs broadcast booth
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" Kasper was heard howling as paramedics rushed him into the ER. "It can't be ... we haven't even finished our 'Tunes from the Booth' album yet."
