The postseason accolades keep rolling in for the Chicago Cubs. Just yesterday, second baseman Darwin Barney was awarded the prestigious “Gold Glove” award. Today, the Cubs front office has announced that a panel of Wrigley Field bleacher dwellers have awarded the dubious “Platinum Blindfold” award to Cubs shortstop Starlin Castro.

The award is given each year to the Cub who appears to be completely oblivious to on-the-field happenings. The distinction was once perennially reserved for Aramis Ramirez, but any astute observer can see the former third baseman’s imprint on Castro.

“I really thought [Alfonso] Soriano was going to get the award this year,” said panelist and Old Style consumer, Barry Schmicklen. “But he sure caught us off guard. When Sori started giving a crap, we had to look to a younger generation to continue the tradition. Right now, Starlin seems to be the perfect fit.”

Another rumored front runner was former catcher, Geovany Soto. However, Soto’s mid-season trade left little doubt that the award was Castro’s to lose.

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