In a bold attempt to improve Starlin Castro’s fundamentals, the Cubs have decided to transition the young shortstop into the TV booth for the 2013 season.

“Hopefully that will force him to pay attention to the game,” said Cubs president Theo Epstein. “For one thing, he’ll be able to see more of the field, assuming he doesn’t spend the entire broadcast napping or sucking down Old Styles.”

The Cubs have also tasked play-by-play man Len Kasper with the difficult assignment of keeping Castro engaged.

“Obviously, Bob [Brenly] actually cared about the on-field action, so this will be a bit different,” said Kasper. “But I’m excited. I figure if I ask Starlin 30 or 40 questions every half-inning, he might answer one of them. And from what I understand, that would require him paying about three times as much attention to the game than he did last season.”

Heckler George