Cubs

Thanks to everyone who visited The Heckler's booth at the 2012 Cubs Convention. It was a lot of fun and it seems like there's a pretty good feeling in the air about the Cubs right now, but one that's a little more real than the feelings of delusional bliss in recent years (dating back to the year the Model T came out in fact).

Steven Vernon of Danville, Iowa, says has been wanting "forever" to go to the Cubs Convention, but never felt it was safe enough for him to park in the “Big City." This year, however, he thought he'd give it a try.

Former Cubs GM Jim Hendry was conspicuously seen at popular Cubs Convention hangout Kitty O’Sheas Saturday afternoon, knocking back bottom shelf gin, along with whatever else he could get his hands on.

“I saw a ‘Wood’ jersey go by at the convention and thought it might be personalized,” said Wood. “But then they started popping up everywhere. And signs, too. I haven’t seen so many double-entendres since grade school.”

Last night I had the good fortune of attending Ryan Dempster's charity event. It was a great time for a great cause but unfortunately with it came the misfortune of crossing paths with George "The Hassle" Castle. In case you've never heard of the guy, click here to read the Wikipedia entry he clearly wrote himself. Some Cubs fans might remember Lou Piniella's epic post-game tirade at a reporter a few years back. Yep, that was directed at The Hassle.

“There’s nothing like the taste of a black Sharpie for breakfast,” said little Timmy Jepson, the victim of Marmol’s errant John Hancock. “But hopefully I can get a few extra bucks when I try to sell my autographed face on eBay.“

“You try ordering a coffee at Starbucks and hearing ‘It should have been Ryno’ from some jerk barista every damn time,” Sveum lamented. “By changing my name to Dale Sandberg, at the very least I might confuse the drunk fans at the ballpark.”