Cubs sign Hologram Tupac for Soriano’s late-inning defensive replacement
With as bad as the Cubs have been to start this year, they are looking for anything living, moving or Woo-Wooing to somehow help the club and restore this proud franchise. That's why yesterday, the Cubs signed Hologram Tupac as their late inning defensive replacement for left fielder Alfonso Soriano.
Grammatically challenged Cubs fan defaces Dale Sveum billboard to read ‘Baseball is Badder Here’
A frustrated Cubs fan took to the streets Thursday night to protest the team’s league-worst 3-10 start. Finding a Dale Sveum billboard near his house, the fan used black spray paint to change the "Baseball is Better Here" slogan to "Baseball is Badder Here."
Wrigley Field deemed ideal venue for Springsteen’s themes of anger, hopelessness and despair
“For 3-plus hours, fans of the rock legend will feel the searing anger, visceral pain and utter despair that his songs elicit—just like every other day at the ballpark, actually,” said a spokesman familiar with the negotiations.
Cubs fans embrace new ‘Zero-Game’ ticket plan
“It’s a win-win for everyone. So far we’ve added a thousand new season ticket holders under this plan without forcing any of them to actually attend a game," said Kenney. "They get the privilege of being part of an elite group and we get extra cash.”
To cut errors, Sveum orders Castro to turn two on every throwing play
“I’m just going to have him flip it to Barney at second every time he fields the ball,” a proud Sveum told the media. “It was either that or have him run the ball over to first base. But I suspect most batters will beat him to the bag.”
Cubs ‘kinda’ appreciate being part of Cardinals’ World Series celebration
“I actually tried to have the Cardinals’ ring presentation in Chicago," he said. "That way, I could have lived up to my expectation to bring a World Championship to the North Side years ahead of schedule!”
Samardzija under impression that looking like pirate will land him Captain Morgan endorsement
“I got the idea last Halloween when everybody kept asking me if I was a pirate,” said Samardzija. “I was actually Oscar Wilde, but when nobody knew who that was I just eventually said yes. Now I feel like I should use our nation’s love of pirates to my advantage.”
