Wednesday, June 29, 2022

The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos, Part 2

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

Paternity test shows Yankees are former Red Sox Pedro Martinez’s actual biological daddy

Despite Dominican papers saying otherwise, a paternity test taken in April by Pedro Martinez revealed that the New York Yankees are indeed his daddy.

Hamels beans his kid during father-son game

Keeping with his firm belief in “old school” baseball, Cole Hamels reportedly threw a 92 MPH fastball directly into his eight-year-old son’s buttocks during the duo’s first ever father-son baseball game.

Campana charged by Philly police for felony theft, conversion and mayhem

Resident Cubs “scrapster,” Tony Campana was booked by Philadelphia police Monday after spending a weekend wreaking havoc on the hometown Phillies. After terrorizing the presumed class of the NL East for three games, Campana became the target of a city-wide APB seeking his immediate arrest.

Marlins plan fire sale immediately after signing Pujols, Reyes, Buehrle and Madson

Employing the same formula that brought them championships in 1997 and 2003, the Miami Marlins announced that they have signed free agents Albert Pujols, Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Ryan Madson and immediately began planning the fire sale that has shortly followed those two World Series titles.

Papelbon to blow crucial saves for the Phillies now

Jonathan Papelbon will be leaving the Red Sox to blow crucial saves for the Phillies after signing a fat free-agent contract with Philly earlier today that pays him $40 million over four years.

Quade pencils ‘Excessive Heat’ into lineup for rest of week

After defending National League Cy Young Winner Roy Halladay was forced to leave his start Monday night in the fifth inning at Wrigley Field, Cubs manager Mike Quade declared that Excessive Heat would be penciled in his starting lineup for the duration of the homestand.