"They had Cody Parkey on to tell him how honorable he was after he missed that kick," said Jeffery. "I dropped a routine pass into the hands of a defender that sealed a playoff loss for us. Can't I be honorable too?"
Following their 38-7 shellacking in Philadelphia Sunday night, President Donald Trump demanded the entire team be deported.
“I couldn’t hold it any longer. My tongue was hanging out thinking about the Wiz Cheesesteak sandwich and the Freedom Fries,“ Reid told ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio, his BFF from his days as the Eagles coach.
"From the bottom of my heart, I'd like to apologize to my coaches, teammates and fans for my extremely unbecoming behavior," said Cooper. "I sincerely regret my extremely questionable decision to attend a recent Kenny Chesney concert."
During the team's meeting with Reid today, they brought in 10 racks of ribs from Gates BBQ, an entire pig roast from Three Little Pigs BBQ, eight pounds of brisket from the Golden Ox, and a trough full of pulled pork from Arthur Bryant's Barbecue.
"Well, I had to throw Philly a bone and give them a game in prime time they could win," he said. "Plus it gives us a new game to market. With any luck, the 2012 Irrelevance Bowl will be at least twice as popular as the 2012 Pro Bowl."