Red Sox

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Cubs fans have generally been enthusiastic to the idea of Terry Francona and Theo Epstein joining their team, but that's begun to change now that it was revealed the World Series titles Epstein and Francona won with Boston in 2004 and 2007 are not retroactively transferable to the Cubs.

While the Cubs chairman has scored low on the baseball IQ chart since taking over the team, Tom Ricketts is starting to show some savvy after scoring Theo Epstein to replace Jim Hendry as GM. Unfortunately, Ricketts attempts to pawn off both Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano to Boston have not been met with exuberance.

“Not one member on that team is good enough to play here,” said Sox owner John Henry. “But those golden pipes of Pat Hughes are well-suited to broadcast games from Fenway.”

In the first of many moves to come in his new role with the Cubs, Theo Epstein today traded the inexplicably popular old-timer G. Heileman to the Red Sox for the highly rated Samuel Adams.

"After running [manager Terry] Francona and Theo out of town, we need a new scapegoat for future failures of the franchise," said Henry. "We all know it can't be me, because I just write the checks and take in the glory when we when. Someone's got to take the blame when we lose."

As part of the deal, the much-heralded executive included a clause that the Cubs would send shortstop Starlin Castro to the Red Sox and be on the hook for Epstein’s 2012 salary as well as cash compensation for the deal, which would be paid to him.