“I just don’t know if they could handle it,” said Adidas executive Mark Pokitus. “My whole team loved MJ. They thought he would sign with us for sure. When I found out he went with Nike, I just couldn’t let my team down. So we’ve been coming up with pitches for our next meeting with Jordan for the last 30 some years. Honestly, I hate that they don’t know the truth, but they love what they do, and we sure as hell can’t tell them the truth now. 

“I am really excited for Michael to come in again next week,” said Jay Barnes, a member of the original Adidas team set to pitch to Jordan. “We all love Jordan and we think he’ll love working with us here at Adidas. We’ve worked so hard on our presentation, he’s gonna love it, I just know it. You’ll have to interview me again after he signs with us.”

A spokesperson from Adidas has confirmed that the team is still being paid and that their pitch to Jordan is “really spectacular.”

Image: Basketball Forever