With many of the nation’s youth baseball programs now banning the Astros team name, hundreds of parents have sought court permission to change first names of children named after Houston players.
“Had we known Altuve would be mixed up in this sign stealing thing, we wouldn’t have named our son Jose’,” said Albert Klucewski of Aliquippa, Penn. “Ironically, I wanted to name him Albert Jose’, A.J. for short, after Hinch, but Edwina, my wife, threatened to divorce me.”
Another family, the Spaniel’s from Thibodaux, La, rabid Astros fans, named their two-year old daughter, Marwina, after utility player Marwin Gonzalez.
“There weren’t any names of players that would fit a girl’s name, except for Marwin,” Buzz Spaniel, the father said.
“We thought about naming her Springer (for outfielder George Springer), but Springer Spaniel didn’t sound too good.”
When asked about the new name the Spaniels will select for their daughter, mother Madonna Spaniel said the child will be called Belichick.