President Barack Obama awarded key executives of the St. Louis Cardinals with the prestigious Medal of Freedom for tapping into the websites of China’s military and other key Chinese government websites.

“First in the Central Division. First in the National League. First in violating cyber-security worldwide, every American is grateful for the Cardinals diligence in cracking these uber-secured websites,” Mr. Obama said in a White House Rose Garden ceremony.

An avid Chicago White Sox fan, the president suggested that the South Side ball club take a lesson in high tech from their neighbors from Missouri.

“Maybe if Jerry Reinsdorf invested a few bucks in computers rather than dumping dead money into stiffs like Adam LaRoche and Geovany Soto, at the least, they might make it into the 1990s with their metrics,” the president said.

However, this day was about celebrating Cardinal executives for their heroism.

“Considering Joe Biden, John Kerry and several members of my cabinet have yet to program their VCR’s, we consider this an accomplishment of incredible proportion,” Mr. Obama said.