Once vilified and shunned by the city of Chicago for his role in the 2003 NLCS, reported sightings of ousted Cubs fan Steve Bartman have become more frequent than a 2011 Carlos Marmol blown save.

Bartman — who became infamous after plucking away a foul ball from Moises Alou’s urine stained hands in game 6 of the championship series — has been supposedly spotted lurking around the north side of the city by several witnesses.

Much like Big Foot and a Cubs World Series appearance, many are skeptical about the validity and likelihood of this occurrence. However, with expectations for the 2015 season set sky high for the Cubs, it is plausible that Bartman may be feeling more comfortable setting foot in the city without worrying about being strangled by his own turtleneck.

“I’ve seen him with my own two eyes, woo woo!” shouted Cubs super-fan, Ronnie Woo-Woo. “Just the other day, I saw him sitting outside what used to be the left field bleachers, enjoying a Busch Light with Harry Caray and Sammy Sosa. Although Sosa was looking rather ghostly, Caray looked great!”

Despite the few discrepancies in Woo-Woo’s claim, others have also given their own accounts of a Bartman sighting, noting that he has upgraded his cheap headphones to 24 karat gold Beats headphones for optimum subtlety, as well as ditching his old turtleneck for a more Sterling Archer-like tactleneck.

Keep it locked on TheHeckler.com for updates on any more Bartman sightings, as well as Ronnie Woo-Woo’s mental stability as more information is available.


Shingo TaCatsu