After arriving to spring training and settling into the team’s clubhouse, Texas Rangers first baseman Prince Fielder told reporters that he was in the biggest shape of his entire life.

“I feel good about this season,” the 275-pound Fielder said. “This is the first spring training I’ve shown up to where I don’t feel like I can get any bigger, so that can only mean good things for me.”

Fielder cited an intense focus on a new off-season diet plan as helping him achieve his hearty figure.

“Two-a-days, every single day,” Fielder said, explaining his daily routine of eating twice at a neighborhood Hardees. “It was a grind some days, especially when my trainer would throw in an unexpected burger or shake just when I thought I was done, but I powered through. I ate it all.”

Clubhouse workers were caught off-guard by Fielder’s startling new appearance upon his arrival.

“We had all his sizes listed from last season and ordered everything according to them: training clothes, uniforms, practice jerseys, you name it,” said Rangers equipment manager Saul Fein. “We’ll have to get new, much bigger ones rushed here, but it’s worth it; I’ve never seen a player show up to camp looking like he does.”

At press time, Boston Red Sox infielder Pablo Sandoval told reporters he also hoped to get into bigger shape before the regular season began.

Dan Delagrange