Following reports the Cubs had hired former 3-time Manager of the Year Joe Maddon, President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein was forced to hold a press conference clarifying that, in a moment of confusion, the man he had hired to replace Rick Renteria was actually former Cubs manager Lou Piniella.
“I’d be the first to admit I goofed here,” a bashful Epstein told reporters. “But can you blame me? Everyone wanted me to hire the grey-haired, 2-time AL Manager of the Year award winner who formerly coached the Tampa Bay Rays, and that’s what I hired today! Apparently, from the reports I’ve been reading, everyone expected me to hire Maddon, instead.”
Reporters were quick to point out that, though it was true both Maddon and Piniella met the criteria, Piniella had not coached a single game of baseball since leaving the Cubs in 2010, to which Esptein quickly replied, “Well, okay, see that was a year before I got here, so I can’t be blamed for not knowing that. Either way, no matter what happens when the dust settles, whoever ends up being our manager, Lou or Joe, I think we got the right man for the job.”