The basketball world was shocked Thursday when TNT analyst Steve Kerr spurned the Knicks’ offer to be their head coach. Left flatfooted with no other candidates in mind, owner James Dolan hastily announced that Jackson will serve as the team’s coach next season via Skype.

“Originally Phil didn’t want to coach but under the circumstances we had no¬†alternative,” said Dolan. “He went on some spiel about it’s 2014 and with the way technology works he could coach from his mansion in LA. We both kinda chuckled but then thought ‘Why not?’ Our IT people are flying out there to install the software. Even Isiah [Thomas] thought it was a good idea and when has he ever left me astray? ”

Jackson then spoke with his trademark smug grin.

“I’m married to Jeanie Buss. She’s a pretty lady. I’d rather stay close to her. Plus I’ve been doing this so long I don’t actually need to be physically present. My laptop works fine. I’m not sure I wanna be there to watch [Carmelo] Anthony take 35 shots anyway. This will save me time with the travel and hey if we’re up big I can catch up on my e-mail. I’m excited.”