Shortly after the Seattle Seahawks blew away the Denver Broncos 43-8 in Super Bowl XLVIII, the entire city of Omaha in Nebraska went up in flames.  Though details are currently sketchy, numerous sources are saying that the fire seems to have been set intentionally and maliciously by Peyton Manning, wearing a fake mustache in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his identity.

Manning, who threw for just 280 yards with two interceptions in one of the most lopsided Super Bowls in history, was described by witnesses as appearing eerily focused while pouring gasoline at various choke points throughout the Midwestern city while absentmindedly chanting the word, “Omaha” to himself rhythmically.  The future hall of famer whose career will forever be defined by two Super Bowl losses that leave him with fewer championships than his younger brother, Eli, then grimly lit a match and tossed it to the ground, igniting the city and it’s 400,000 population in its entirety.

Manning was then seen uttering, “Omaha.  Omaha. Omaha” before turning his back to the raging inferno and walking away.

Jeff GoodSmith