Your 2013 NHL Champion Chicago Blackhawks were certainly characters on the ice. Naturally, you are probably wondering what all those guys are doing with the Stanley Cup?  The Heckler is here to help.

Here are a few snippets of what players have been doing with – and to – the legendary trophy during each of their days with The Cup…

Bryan Bickell – Stored his teeth in it overnight.
Dave Bolland – Quietly poked for four hours until it cracked a little.
Brandon Bollig – Nobody knows. Cup handler was seen carrying several gallons of bleach afterward.
Michael Frolik – Pointed out name to his parents in order to finally prove that he plays professional hockey like he’s been saying all these years.
Michal Handzus – Forgot he had a day. Watched Wheel of Fortune.
Marian Hossa – Put on shelf next to thousands of other trophies. Resumed off-season career as Most Interesting Man in the World.
Patrick Kane – Threw up in it (duh).
Marcus Kruger – Reports are mixed. He’s saying that it beat him up.
Jamal Mayers – Started own fight club. Put up Cup as trophy.
Brandon Saad – Put himself in it.
Patrick Sharp – Stared at own reflection. Scored twice.
Andrew Shaw – Filled Cup with ice. Held against face.
Viktor Stalberg – Put new money in it.
Jonathan Toews – Made it do 300 pushups.
Sheldon Brookbank – Joined Mayers’ fight club.
Niklas Hjalmarsson – Filled Cup with ice. Held against shins.
Duncan Keith – Took home. Celebrated with family. (Guess somebody was bound to do something normal.)
Nick Leddy – Got to see famous Cup for fifteen minutes after finishing vegetables.
Johnny Oduya – Brought to psychologist. Quietly explained why he dislikes “Do ya?” jokes.
Michal Rozsival – Watched “Wheel of Fortune” with Handzus.
Brent Seabrook – Measured how many boxes of Froot Loops fit in the bowl (four and a half).
Corey Crawford – Spray-painted “!@#$” inside the bowl.
Ray Emery – Kissed it goodbye.

By Dan Bradley, Tony Kries and Lisa Sexton

Bandwagon Dan