In a historic first, the NBA accepted full responsibility for blowing Tuesday night’s Game 6 Final between the Spurs and Heat when officials caused San Antonio to miss several key free throws down the stretch.
“It’s come to our attention that last night’s officiating crew underhandedly took complete control of the game and coerced Manu Ginobili and Kawhi Leonard to each miss vital free throws with less than 30 seconds left that would have helped San Antonio seal a victory,” said Commissioner David Stern. “I’d like to offer my sincerest apologies to Gregg Popovich, his team and the people of San Antonio, which is my 28th favorite NBA city.”
Leonard and Ginobili each corroborated what Stern acknowledged to be a “vast high-level conspiracy designed to bring a win to Miami by coercing the Spurs to miss crucial free throws.”
“When Joey Crawford bounced the ball into me before my first free throw, it kind of came in a little hard,” said Ginobili. “That threw off my whole rhythm and it was pretty clear it was trying to force me to miss that free throw. I blame Crawford.”
Crawford wasn’t the only ref who was in on the scam.
“Ken Mauer gave me this little half wink when I was getting ready to attempt my first free throw,” said Leonard. “I could just tell by that he was trying to get in my head, saying something like ‘You’re an untested rookie who’s only shooting 65 percent from the free throw line in the playoffs so you should really be concerned that failing to hit both these shots will dog your entire career and legacy.”
“And how am I supposed to make both free throws under those conditions?”