It’s getting real tense at the “Worldwide Leader.” With the Heat one loss away from losing the NBA Finals to the Spurs, the anchors on SportsCenter won’t have any of that. They are going to extreme lengths to help the Heat repeat as champions, including voodoo.

“I dressed up as a witch for Halloween once, so that should make me able to cast spells,” Hannah Storm said. “We have a fire going right in the middle of the cafeteria and we’ve thrown items in the fire, including one of LeBron’s high school jerseys and also a piece of hair from Tim Tebow. Anything associated with Tim Tebow makes anybody a winner. I’m also chanting “LeBron is the greatest! LeBron is the greatest!”” When asked to comment about the chant, Michael Jordan said “LeBron who?”

Not to outdone, First Take’s Skip Bayless, the person who broke the record for most idiotic comments in television history, said “LeBron will score 101 points in Games 6 and 7. Mark my words. Anything I say comes true. By the way, I’m the one that got the piece of Tim Tebow’s hair. Don’t ask me how I did it.”

Mariotti Jr.