Even though they’re behind 2-1 in the Stanley Cup Finals, the Blackhawks have just received some very important information from the NHL: They are actually allowed to shoot the puck while on the power play.

“We can?” said goalless captain Jonathan Toews. “I’m always counting one less Bruin and wondering where the 5th guy is and he’s in the penalty box. My bad.”

Toews’ teammate Patrick Kane was also surprised by the news.

“I just wanted to skate around with the puck and do different spin-o-ramas until the two minutes were up,” he said. “But maybe now I should try to throw it at the net or something.”

Goalie Corey Crawford had a different point of view.

“They finally figured that out now?” he asked. “You mean all the short-handed breakaways for Boston will end? I sure as [expletive deleted] hope so. Maybe our ‘superstars’ will score a goal.”

Mariotti Jr.