Bedlam broke out in Miami Monday night when a clerical error resulted in the Green Bay Packers playing the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Finals.
“Turns out Green Bay was on a team retreat to South Beach, so it all worked out really well for them unfortunately,” said Nellie Scott, the NBA admin whose fatal “K” keystroke forced the Packers to take on the Heat rather than the Pacers. “It really was a bloodbath.”
The Packers destroyed the Heat, literally and figuratively, as nearly all Miami players left the game with severe injuries after just a few minutes playing a bloody hybrid of football and basketball.
“The Heat just couldn’t hang with Green Bay’s aggressive play,” said NBA analyst Marv Albert. “Clay Matthews had Dwyane Wade rolling around in agony nearly a dozen times, which is twice as often as Wade does that in a regular game.”
Oddly, TNT executives weren’t upset by the error as ratings were sky-high.
“Turns out America doesn’t really care about the Miami Heat,” said one network executive, “unless they’re getting their brains beaten out by a bunch of overzealous football players.”
Image by Joel Nielsen