After a blown call and obscure NFL rule gave the Houston Texans a free touchdown on Thursday, Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz has taken out a bounty on all NFL officials.

“I’ll give $500 and my left testicle to anyone who hurts a ref,” said Schwartz.

When asked to comment on his impending demise, the crew chief from Thursday’s game was nonplussed.

“Well, I could have gone under the hood and gotten the call right since it was a scoring play” he said. “But the rules are very clear, and that would have required me to actually do my job anyway. And let’s face it, after 18 years, I’m just here for the paycheck.”